The Closing of One Door and the Opening of Another

After taking a few weeks to recover from our loss, we began to pursue the path we always knew was an option... Adoption! It's actually something we discussed before we were married... The topic of infertility came up and we both agreed we "wouldn't go through extraneous measures to have a biological child", as I said in my previous post, "funny how things change". However, even during the IVF process, adoption was a topic that frequented our conversations both between Dave and myself, our family, and our friends. Over the past several months we have read books, visited various websites at great length, read A LOT of blogs of other adoptive parents, and talked to an adoption consultant. My point in telling you this history is to emphasize this is not a decision we have come to lightly, it's a possibility we have discussed for years and began researching in depth almost one year ago.

This brings us to an exciting announcement... Dave and I have decided to adopt a child from Ethiopia!!! We submitted our application to the International Adoption Network (an adoption agency) in Denver last weekend. It has been approved which now leads us to completing the home study process (our first meeting is next Friday) and preparing our dossier to be submitted to Ethiopia. Our home study approval will be for receiving an infant (0-2 years old) boy or girl and possibly siblings as long as they are both under 2. Right now, we are hoping to have our child home approximately a year from now, but also know we'll have to be very patient as the adoption process can be very unpredictable.

So, I'm sure you have 100 questions... :-) I know we have through out the process and still do! I'll do my best to address the obvious ones without writing a novel, but please do feel free to post a comment with a question, shoot us an e-mail, or even give us a call. We're happy to talk about this exciting journey with people who are interested in the details.

In order to arrive at our decision, we had many factors to take into consideration. The first was deciding between international versus domestic adoption. Once we arrived at the decision to adopt internationally, we had to decide which country. For each decision to be made, we had to weigh the pros and cons of each: wait times, age of the child, travel requirements, possible health concerns, the unknowns we were willing to accept (social history, family history, a birth parent choosing to parent, etc.), and what race and ethnicity we felt we could best support and foster, the list goes on, but you get the idea.

We also had to research adoption agencies... what accreditation they have, costs, references, and experience were the main factors that played into our decision. Please feel free to check out International Adoption Networks web page http://www.adoptioninternational.net/ Thus far we have been incredibly impressed by this agency's organization, friendly people, and responsiveness.

So, there you have it! We are embarking on one of the most amazing journeys of our life! Our eyes, hearts, and minds are wide open as we close one door and open another on our journey to expand the Hurlbert and Wilson clan...

Chapter 1 -- Our Struggle with Infertility -- The Cliff Notes Version

As David and I begin the second chapter in our journey toward growing our family, I thought I'd create a blog with the purpose of updating friends and family regarding our journey, explaining the process, and I'm sure at times I'll just be venting... Before I get started with Chapter 2, I'll give you the Cliff Notes version of Chapter 1 - Our Struggle with Infertility.

Beginning in December of 2006 we began the process of "trying"to get pregnant. Little did we know what this was really going to mean for us. After a year of "trying" with no success, we sought medical help which led to lots of diagnostic procedures and researching our options. Our final diagnosis, or lack thereof, was "unexplained infertility". We did three months of Clomid (oral medication to make me ovulate) and three months of Clomid with Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). With all efforts still unsuccessful, we were then referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) who reviewed our history, did a few more tests and recommended a medication called Letrosol (another oral medication similar to Clomid), two rounds of this still did not result in a pregnancy.

After a couple of months of no treatment, we decided to pursue In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Simply put, this is where they took my eggs and literally injected one of Dave's sperm into each one, let them grow in a petri dish for 5 days, then transfered them back to me . Prior to knowing we'd struggle with infertility, this is something we did not think we'd pursue... Funny how things change. Anyway, after lots of shots, blood draws, ultrasounds, and two outpatient medical procedures, we found out on Christmas Eve 2008 we were pregnant!!! Needless to say we were very happy, but also knew we had a long way to go to our final destination so to speak. Well, after 10.5 weeks of a relatively smooth pregnancy, I miscarried on February 9. I'm not quite sure I can articulate the feelings Dave and I had; Disappointment, frustration, and sadness begin to explain it, but there were many other complicated layers as well that I'll spare you the details of.

The support we received from friends and family was overwhelming, as it has been throughout this entire journey, and lessened the blow so to speak. I can't begin to thank all of you who sent cards, gifts, made phone calls and kept us in your thoughts and prayers. It all meant and still means so much.